[meteorite-list] Humor NOT meteorite related:

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From: Troy <Troy_at_meteoritecentral.com>
Date: Thu Apr 22 09:50:22 2004
Message-ID: <002c01c1db90$170a2940$28a9afce_at_default>

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Hope this doesn't offend anyone. I just thought it was funny being the =
techie I am.

Troy Bell

Dear Tech Support:=20

 Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a =
slow=20
 down in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that =
had=20
 operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system. In addition, =
Husband=20
 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, but =

 installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and NHL 4.1.=20
 Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply =
crashes=20
 the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but =
to=20
 no avail. What can I do?=20

Signed, Desperate=20

Dear Desperate:=20

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package, =
while=20
Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command C:/I =
THOUGHT=20
YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then =
automatically=20
run the applications: Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5. But remember, overuse =
can=20
cause Husband 1.0 to default to such background applications as Grumpy=20
Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please remember that Beer 6.1 =
is=20
a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.WAV files. DO NOT =
install=20
Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not=20
supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. It could also=20
potentially cause Husband 1.0 to default to the program: Girlfriend 9.2, =

which runs in the background and has been known to introduce potentially =

serious viruses into the Operating System.=20

In summary........., Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a=20
limited memory and can't learn new applications quickly. You might =
consider=20
buying additional software to enhance his system performance. I =
personally=20
recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Single Malt Scotch 4.5 combined with such=20
applications as Boob Job 3.6D and that old standby Lingerie 6.x (which =
have=20
both been credited with improved performance of his hardware).=20

Good Luck,=20
Tech Support=20

=20

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<DIV class=3DSection1><![if !supportEmptyParas]><![endif]><![if =
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Hope this doesn't =
offend anyone. I=20
just thought it was funny being the techie I am.
Troy Bell
<SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; FONT-SIZE: 10pt">Dear Tech =
Support:=20
<SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; =
mso-color-alt: windowtext"><o:p></o:p>
<SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; FONT-SIZE: 10pt">  Last =
year I=20
upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow   =
down in=20
the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had =
  =20
operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system. In addition, Husband =

   1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance =
9.9,=20
but   installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 =
and NHL=20
4.1.   Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs and Housecleaning =
2.6=20
simply crashes   the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to =
fix=20
these problems, but to   no avail. What can I do? =
<FONT=20
color=3Dblack face=3DArial size=3D2><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; =
mso-color-alt: windowtext"><o:p></o:p>
<SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; FONT-SIZE: 10pt"><![if =
!supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><FONT=20
color=3Dblack face=3DArial size=3D2><SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; FONT-SIZE: 10pt">Signed, =
Desperate=20
<SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; =
mso-color-alt: windowtext"><o:p></o:p>
<SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; FONT-SIZE: 10pt">Dear =
Desperate:=20
<SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; =
mso-color-alt: windowtext"><o:p></o:p>
<SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; FONT-SIZE: 10pt">First, keep =
in mind=20
that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 =
is an=20
operating system. Try to enter the command C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME =
and=20
install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the=20
applications: Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5. But remember, overuse can =
 cause=20
Husband 1.0 to default to such background applications as Grumpy =
 Silence=20
2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please remember that Beer 6.1 is a =
very=20
bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.WAV files. DO NOT install=20
 Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are =
not=20
 supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. It could also=20
 potentially cause Husband 1.0 to default to the program: Girlfriend =
9.2,=20
 which runs in the background and has been known to introduce =
potentially=20
 serious viruses into the Operating System. <SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; =
mso-color-alt: windowtext"><o:p></o:p>
<SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; FONT-SIZE: 10pt">In =
summary.........,=20
Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory =
and can't=20
learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional =

software to enhance his system performance. I personally recommend =
Hot Food=20
3.0 and Single Malt Scotch 4.5 combined with such applications as =
Boob Job=20
3.6D and that old standby Lingerie 6.x (which have both been =
credited with=20
improved performance of his hardware). <SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; =
mso-color-alt: windowtext"><o:p></o:p>
<SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; FONT-SIZE: 10pt">Good Luck, =
 Tech=20
Support <SPAN=20
style=3D"COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; =
mso-color-alt: windowtext"><o:p></o:p>
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>

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Received on Wed 03 Apr 2002 11:20:43 PM PST

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