[meteorite-list] OT: Some humor for your holidays

From: Rob Matson <mojave_meteorites_at_meteoritecentral.com>
Date: Thu, 23 Dec 2010 17:37:34 -0800
Message-ID: <GOEDJOCBMMEHLEFDHGMMMEEDEHAA.mojave_meteorites_at_cox.net>

Hi All,

At the slight risking of offending any Scrooges w/o a sense of humor,
I forward the following Christmas observation.

Happy Christmas/Festivus/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Winter Solstice to All!

May Santa put a nice lump of coal (a CI/CO/CK/CM/etc. qualifies!)
in your stocking...

--Rob

- - - - - -

The Illegal Immigrant Amongst Us
--------------------------------

Every December 24, the illegal immigrant known as Santa Claus crosses
the border without a passport, carrying concealed packages, which he
presumably sneaks into the U.S. in order to avoid tariffs and inspection
by Customs. What's really in that huge sack? Homeland Security has never
asked and habitually turns a blind eye to this invasion!

Look at how this international fugitive gets around: Santa Claus flies
in a custom-built sleigh that hasn't been inspected by the FCC nor
cleared by Air Traffic Control. He flies beneath radar and never files a
flight plan. He has no pilot's license, and he flies in the dark of
night with just one tiny bioluminescent red light to guide him - a clear
violation of safety regulations!

Imagine those pulling Santa's heavy sleigh: Eight tiny reindeer, a
protected species being put to hard labor. None of these reindeer have
their required inoculations, and Santa's never gotten these
genetically-engineered animals registered and licensed. He keeps them
penned outside his workplace in below-freezing temperatures, in a clear
violation of animal protection laws. Where is the ASPCA while all this
is going on?

And the conniving, crooked Claus harms more than just animals; he's
hurting hard-working people, too. "Santa's Workshop" is a clever
cover-up for a sweatshop, where non-union employees make less than
minimum wage and apparently get no overtime holiday pay. Add the fact
that no one has ever been allowed to inspect the place, and it's obvious
that you have a Third-World elf-exploitation operation.

In addition, he maintains a data base of personally-identifying
information about our children! Names, addresses, ages, photos,
behavioral tendencies. Incredibly, parents appear to be complicit in
perpetuating this cultural phenomenon; Child Protection Services has yet
to be informed of these offenses.

The bottom line is that Santa has been allowed to maintain a monopoly
over a massive toy distribution industry; he's cornered the Christmas
Eve gift market. Santa dares to give away his products for free in a
sinister attempt to crush all competition - just like Microsoft's
Internet Explorer. There has been no Antitrust Lawsuit, yet it's clear
that Santa Claus is the "Bill Gates of Christmas."

However, it might be tough sledding for Jolly St. Nick this Christmas,
if someone points out this oversight to our legislators. After all,
Santa Claus is honest, reliable, and gives us something to look forward
to every December 25th. Considering the gifts bequeathed to us on April
15th, it's a Christmas Miracle that Santa's still in business.
Received on Thu 23 Dec 2010 08:37:34 PM PST