[meteorite-list] A Listory of the World, Part One

From: cdtucson at cox.net <*cdtucson_at_meteoritecentral.com*> Date: Fri, 12 Feb 2010 11:50:54 -0500 Message-ID: <20100212115054.1TWHC.434755.imail_at_fed1rmwml43> · cdtucson_at_meteoritecentral.com

--
Carl or Debbie Esparza
Meteoritemax
---- Sans Saharacis <octahedrite at gmail.com> wrote: 
> The Listory of the World, Part One.
> 
> 
> In the beginning, there was darkness and there were no meteorites.
> 
> Then, a voice split the darkness and it said - "let there be light."
> 
> An infinite lighted display case appeared, and it glowed like a
> beacon, banishing the darkness.
> 
> The display case appeared lonely, so the voice said "let there be meteorites."
> 
> And the display case was filled with a bounty of chondrites, irons,
> and planetaries, lovely and pristine.
> 
> But still the display and its contents were lonely and incomplete.
> 
> So, the voice said "let there be collectors."
> 
> And a throng appeared of men, women and creatures.  The throng
> gathered around the display case and they did worship it.
> 
> The throng spoke in all languages and they raised praise unto the
> meteorites, but they could not communicate with each other.
> 
> At last, the voice said "let there be the Met List"
> 
> And suddenly, the voices of the meteorite worshippers could be heard
> and understood by all of the peoples around the world.
> 
> The collectors praised the creator and they gave blessings unto his name - Art.
> 
> Many aeons passed and the world of the List was peaceful and all
> collectors co-existed in harmony.
> 
> Over the long years, there arose a great community of many colors and
> customs, and they did thrive.
> 
> Amongst the community there came scribes and the spirit of Art went
> into them and told them to witness the collectors.
> 
> The spirit told the scribes to take account of the peoples of the List
> and know them, and to label them, and to weigh them.
> 
> The spirit commanded - "You will put this account of the peoples to
> writing, so that the newbies may understand the ways of the List."
> 
> And so the scribes descended deep into the abyss of the List Archives
> and they did read, and read, and read.
> 
> The scribes learned the ways of the multitude of peoples on the List
> and this is their story.
> 
> 
> 
> Hereafter is the record of the First Scribe : Aerolitis Onepointoh
> 
> The first tribe of the List is the Ancients.  They existed from the
> moment of the List creation.  They are old, wise, wealthy, and
> loquacious.
> 
> The Ancients existed in the days before the hot deserts and internets
> - they did write letters, exchange paper catalogues and send checks.
> 
> After many centuries, the Ancients became disquieted and they yearned
> for lunaites and martians.  They called out for Art.
> 
> But Art was not moved, and the Ancients continued to seek guidance, so
> a prophet arose among them and his name was The Hagg.
> 
> The Hagg was mighty and his locks put Samson's to shame - he traversed
> the Earth and found many meteorites, which he gave glory to.
> 
> In time, the Hagg's display case rivaled that of the creator, so a
> dark power rose in opposition to him - to maintain universal balance.
> 
> This dark power was wealthy and his reach was vast.  His mouth spewed
> blasphemies, smoke, and falsehoods.  His collection grew.
> 
> The Ancients became disquieted again and they began to make noise on
> the List - denouncing the dark one they called Kasper.  War stirred.
> 
> Destiny brought the Hagg and the Kasper together on Nullarbor Plain
> and they fought for dominion over meteorites.  The ground shook and
> bolides shot the sky.
> 
> In the end, the Hagg emerged victorious and the Kasper was cast down
> into that infernal pit - eBay.  The Ancients rejoiced and the List was
> prosperous.
> 
> But intrigues and machinations were afoot in the deserts of Mother
> Africa, and the List would be caught unaware by a new tribe.
> 
> 
> 
> Hereafter is the record of the Second Scribe : Sans Saharacis
> 
> In time, while the Ancients were distracted by petrological
> differences, a new tribe quietly arose in the desert dunes of
> Northwest Africa.
> 
> This new tribe was skilled in the arts of exchange, barter, blather,
> and busk.  And they used the desert peoples as their agents to comb
> the dunes for meteorites.
> 
> The new tribe would inspect the bounty of the dunes and select the
> finest and the most exotic for inclusion in the great display case.
> 
> In time, this new tribe became rich with meteorites and they became
> known to the Ancients of the List, who greeted them warily but warmly.
> 
> The new tribe had powerful names which were alien - Former,
> Heeyoopais, and others such as Arnold Alpha, Arnold Omega, and
> Cootingspam.
> 
> The Ancients were then surprised by the great invasion wave of
> planetaries, achondrites, anomalous irons and ungrouped carbos, and
> hammers.
> 
> Indeed, the Institutions themselves opened their arms and an orgy of
> wicked exchange took place as great historical artifacts were ceded
> for dune rocks.
> 
> All was upset.  Up was down, down was up, rare was common and Ancients
> wept as their collections were topsie-turvied.  The List rang with
> laments.
> 
> In their despair, the Ancients accepted this new tribe of
> Quasi-Saharans and the great display cases swelled to new epic
> proportions.  A new age was born.
> 
> >From their castles on high, the Former, the Heeyoopais and their
> cohort took their place amongst the Ancients and dwelled with them,
> and in time, ruled them.
> 
> In time, the Hagg and his elder kindred (including the Gnew, the
> Shoewade, and others) retired to the West Lands, out of time and reach
> of normal List men.
> 
> The Former and Heeyoopais grew more powerful.  They spread mighei,
> irons, kakangaris, enstatites, gao, and mangos in syrup.
> 
> Indeed, the Ancients, Formers, Heeyoopais and their cohort unified
> into one tribe - the Old School.  For a time, there was prosperity.
> 
> The Old School were mighty and they could walk with impunity in the
> infernal lands of eBay and there they laid down their seed.
> 
> Kasper laughing spread his wings....
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