[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]

Stand At Attention-Official Party Broadcast Follows



Since yesterday's pogrom several additional radical and dangerous List members
have been found guilty of subversive and traitorous acts against the Party. A
public example will be made of these ungrateful anarchists

Here are the new Party guidelines:

In future there will be no public gatherings of more than three List members

Anyone guilty speaking out against the Party will be excommunicated by the
List Junta

Any "humorous" posts, or posts that are not explicitly and totally composed of
tedious and pedantic scientific data will result in excommunication of the
perpetrator(s) by the List Junta

Any capitalists attempting to use the List for financial gain will be
excommunicated by the List Junta and have their hands cut off so they cannot
use the delete key

Every word of every one of Comrade Baalke's highly informative posts regarding
the latest methods used to remove dust from the NASA clean rooms and so on,
will be memorized and repeated out loud at noon and midnight by all loyal
Party members

Any slight deviation from these moderate and reasonable guidelines will be
dealt with in the harshest possible manner. YOU WILL ALL BE MADE TO STAND IN
THE CORNER

Message ends

Comrade O'Brien
Ministry of Truth

"WE LIVE FOR THE LIST, WE DIE FOR THE LIST"